Putin’s Long Game

If I was Putin I would be very happy right now.

I am playing the long game. All I have wanted in the past few years was to restore the Soviet Union’s lost lands to Russian influence. Things are looking pretty indeed.

Looking to my east is China. I have no quarrel with her, and she is too busy with the U.S. anyway.

Looking to my west is Europe. Europe is getting torn apart by a great economic crisis and a migration crisis. Various extreme right movements, which I have funded, stoke nationalistic and anti-European sentiment. More importantly, Europe does not have a united army but has depended on the U.S. and NATO for protection. Britain is leaving the union and if things go as expected, most of the continent’s countries will start turning inwards and forget about the European project. Europe is starting to look like a divided continent.

But what I am really happy about, is what is going on further west, in the U.S. The candidate I was hoping was going to win is in office. He is talking tough on China, which keeps her busy looking towards the Pacific and not at my border. My friend Donald has also said he would dismantle NATO which is music to my ears because now Eastern Europe and the Baltics are fair game, more so after I annexed the Crimea and regained control of Ukraine and Georgia. In addition, Assad is secure in Syria after I saved him in the eleventh hour with my bombing campaign, so I have a warm water port under my control. Turkey — who I have had problems with in the past — and Russia now get along.

To top it all of, the U.S. president is heaping praise on me, and I keep commenting on how great he is. I have gone as far commenting on U.S. internal politics and the transition and defended the man against scandal. As long as I stroke his ego, we’ll get along just fine — and by that I mean I’ll get what I want.

Things are looking great. Where is the champagne?